Don't You See Me Crying?

Are there really any words to describe how I feel now that you are gone? Well meaning people tell me that you aren't gone, that you are indeed still with me. I can't help but ask you Tal, where are you? I look for you everywhere, but I don't see you. I see your toothbrush and hair gel in the bathroom, right where you left them. I see your favorite flip flops under the dresser in the bedroom, they are waiting for you. I see your work boots in the garage, when are you coming home to go to work? We have a new office building now. Your old office belongs to someone else now. Did I imagine my life, or were you here? The tears streaming down my face tell me that you were. I don't know why this happened. I don't know why other people live and you don't. Why did the girls have to see you die on the side of the road? For months I didn't drive down Old Granbury Road. But I do now. I look for you on the side of the road, I look for the spot with the dip in the road. I wonder if you saw what happened that night. The lights, the screams, I don't know. You were here. But now you aren't.
How do I go on now without by best friend, my husband, the man who loved me more than anything? Tal, why did you die? What about your life, what about your dreams? What about our dreams? The future is gone. My past is a memory. My life with you is over. My future, present, and past are one big void. I want you back now. I won't take no for an answer. Don't you see me crying?